I Have A Dream

T. Casanova's dream journal. I have crazy dreams and I want to write about them. That's it, nothing special.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Monday, September 4th. Bloggers Are Dying...

My God!!! Its 4:15 and I have only been sleep 2 hours and already I had a fucking nightmare.

I start off at work. I am sitting at my desk trying to do busy work, when a former employee who got promoted comes over to me. She wants to come back to work for me, cuz the department she got promoted to is on some bullshit. I tell her that I would love to have her back, but I have to check with my manager cuz of the budget. Also, she hasnt been gone for a year and usually, before you can change jobs they want you to be in the position for a year. She leaves and I walk to my manager's office but its dark cuz she aint there. I go talk to her boss and she says to make the decision myself. I decided then and there that I would rehire her. Next thing I know i am in the shower and the employee comes to the shower curtain and asks if I made a decision. I try to hide behind the curtain and I tell her that she can come back and I go over the salary and the schedule and her duties all the while washing myself. She says thank you and then tries to come in the shower to hug me, but i motion for her to stop. I then lose my shyness and say, I will see you on monday while washing my penis. She looks at it and doesnt say anything, just looks shocked. I tell her she can go now, with my dick out and semi hard...

So, I leave work and I'm in Savannah. Or some dream version of Savannah, where half the streets are made up and half the streets are real. I get a call on my cell phone and its a fellow blogger. I am leaving the name out, because its an ill dream, but you probably know who I am talking about. She is begging to see me, cuz she has some shit to talk about. I'm like hell nah, you fucking lied to me, I have nothing to say to you. I bust a left on 45th street and head towards mid town Savannah. The next thing i know I'm at her spot. I don't know whose crib it was for real cuz ive never been there in real life. I get out the car and I listen to what she gotta say, then I'm like I gotta bounce cuz this is bullshit you are talking. I was nothing but nice to you but you betrayed me, so fuck you. She throws something at me and I duck out of the way. It was some sort of glass cuz it shattered behind me. I decide to jet, but she is steadily pelting me with objects until I decide that I cant take it anymore and grab her hands to restrain her...

The next thing I remember we are in a hospital. There are orderlies and nurses in purple scrubs walking by. They check into the room which is by now, a hospital room, but I don't know whose. I tell her that I am outta here and not to contact me anymore. She then throws a metal bedpan at me and starts chasing me through out the hospital. I duck in a patients room and I'm scared as hell. She busts through the door and I escape by running through her legs to the open door. She catches me and starts punching me. I remember wanting to hit her back, but there were too many nurses around and I didnt want to go to jail. I saw a Savannah Police Department officer in the distance so I ran towards him hoping the ass whoopin would be over soon. He then handed me a piece of paper that said restraining order, but to my surprise the order was against me and my brother for some reason.

I said "fine, let me just leave." and the hospital was now an apartment complex. All the nurses were gone and I tiptoed out of the apartment. It started raining hard. She was talking in angry tones but I cant make out what she is saying. I am starting to feel bad for her because she has a fucked up life in my dream..I take a look at her and she has an extra piece of flesh hanging from the top of her lip to her chin. Its nasty and disturbing as fuck... I run off, and make various moves around the complex and she keeps popping up like Freddy Krueger no matter where I go. I am scared shitless. Finally, she popped up behind me and instead of stabbing me with a knife, she hugs me. I push her off and tell her to stop, b/c we ain't friends no more. I run around the complex and she says "Hey,stop running. It don't have to be like that." My car was parked around the back of the complex, its still raining and I am running towards the car..

I get to the car huffing and puffing with a feeling of trepidation that she is gonna pop up again. I try to decide whether or not I am going to run over her if she pops up behind the car. My heart is racing, luckily she doesnt come... I see her standing at the edge of the apt building while I speed off. Now I'm on Habersham Streeet in Savannah, pushing my car in the rain, afraid to stop at stop lights but also afraid to just pull out into traffic. I stop the car at an apt complex on Bull Street and Habersham, which is weird cuz i dont think those 2 streets intersect, but run parallel.

Anyway, geography lesson over... I knock on the door of the apartment and a man answers and says you must be here to see my wife. I don't say anything, but I walk in the door and he closes it behind me. He says Honey, some guy is here. A 14 year old girl in a school uniform, complete with plaid skirt and white shirt comes out and says hi. Then the women from earlier comes out and says, thank you for coming. I look around and see family pictures and bowling trophies. The husband is white, dont know why I needed to say that, I guess my subconscious is a racist. She looks at him and says honey, I have something i need to tell you. This is my good friend Rashan, and he and I have had a special relationship, but now its over. I'm like what the fuck?!?! She pulls out the restraining order from earlier and unrolls it like a scroll. My name is emblazoned in gold caligraphy. I cant read anything else, but my name is fiery and glowing on the scroll. The white husband loses it and pulls a gun out of a drawer on a table that was closed to him. It looks like a .38mm but I dont know much about guns. I back off and head out the door. I see through the window that he raised the gun and shot the women in the head. I'm starting my car, but it wont start. I see him toss the gun to the 14 year old and say, I knew this day would come. You have to shoot yourself cuz i cant do it. My car starts and I speed off. I get the feeling that its a murder-suicide thing. I pull out into traffic on Bull Street without looking and almost get hit by an oncoming car. I'm doing 80 down the narrow street, just trying to get away. I pull out my phone to call Trish, but as I am dialing my phone rings and the voice on the other end of the phone tells me that another blogger died that night. I'm shook, i feel like its a conspiracy to kill bloggers...I try to call Trish again, but i dial her work number instead of the cell. Still going 80 down the street, I cant find her name in my cell phone. I pull up to the stop light at Bull Street and DeRenne and I am halfway in the street. There are 2 cars next to me. I am halfway in the left hand turning lane and halfway in the straight lane. I am shook, I dial Trish's area code, but I cant remember the rest of her number. I hear the garbled transmission of a cop radio and look over to my right and see a Savannah Police cruiser. I am shook and noid that he is either gonna give me a ticket for not staying in my lane or arrest me for killing the first blogger and her family. The light turns green and I take off across the intersection. the cop car busts a left in front of me and i have to hit the breaks. I pass the Subway and the Huge Globe on the left hand side and drive towards Abercorn Street, speeding trying to get the hell away from the crime scene. I remember that my fingerprints are all over the apartment...

And then I woke up...

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Friday September 2nd - Dream 2

I was in a northern city, perhaps even in Canada. I was working at a hotel as delivery guy and I worked in the kitchen. For some reason, I delivered room service carts to people throughout the city. It was dusk, the sun was setting, and there was a night time chill in the air. There were only a handful of black people around in the city. In the background were street performers, not homeless people, but like actual eclectic artisans, like you see on Venice Beach. I was pushing the room service cart. There was a man on stilts and those rhythmic gymnasts that twirl the scarves out there.

I was pushing the room service cart down a hill when I saw this woman. She looked to be about 23. She was either white, or light skinned, about 5' 3". She had short black hair and a wide face, not abnormally wide. She was very pretty and had an exotic ethnic look that made me think she was Greek. We locked eyes for a minute and then I looked away. She was hanging with 3 white guys. One of them had on one of those hemp shirts that the stoners wear, and had a scraggly blond beard and unkempt hair. He put me in the mind of a surfer dude, but where we were there was no ocean and it was cold. I was wearing a uniform, with a white tuxedo style shirt and black pants and jacket. The girl approached me...

She said, 'Hey" with a smile in her voice. I responded likewise. She stared for a long while and then caught up with her friends. The surfer dude gave a concerned look, and then they walked off. I continued to push the cart and made my way back to the hotel. It was a glitzy place with chandeliers and well dressed high class clients. I talked to some co workers (about what i cant remember)

The following day, I was making another delivery. The sun was out but it still was chilly. I saw mystery girl again with her friends. She was wearing a grey t-shirt that was tight across her torso and a hint of her stomach showed over her faded blue jeans. She had on a Native American style necklace and bracelets. She was beautiful in that unassuming kind of way. She was thick in that white girl kinda way. She didn't have a real big butt, but it was big for a white girl. The thing that struck me the most, was her smile. It was part mischeivous, part shy, and part mysterious. She came over to talk to me again. We talked for awhile and then her friends started hassling her. Telling her they had to go. She took my hand and wrote down a phone number on it. No area code, so I couldnt tell where we were, but she also didnt put her name on it. Surfer dude, gave me another look. He didnt say anything, but i could tell he wasnt too happy that she was associating with a Black guy. The girl started walking backwards with her friend and blew me a kiss and motioned for me to call her.

It then started storming. A heavy downpour ensued and I was soaked in my work uniform. I got lost, I saw some streets that looked familiar, but I couldnt remember which way to go. I even get lost easily in my dreams. LOL. I had no umbrella so my clothes became heavy on me. I finally found my way to the street the hotel was on and I saw the girl again. For some reason she was not wet even though the rain was still falling. We took refuge in the covered doorway of a candle shop. We talked and she told me that she had a confession. She said "I'm not really white, if that is what you are worried about." I asked what her heritage was and she whispered. "Chinese and African -Canadian" I then began to see her black characteristics. She said that she hasn't told her friends because they always knew her as white, but she thought she should tell me because I look like the type that wouldnt date a white girl. I was leaning against the glass door of the candle shop and she leaned in closely. I clasped my hands around her waist and pulled her close for a kiss. We kissed and the cover of the doorway was no longer there so we got rained on. It was a tender and innocent kiss, not designed to lead up to anything. It must have lasted for 3 or 4 minutes. I felt my heart palpating and my head swirling. I got the flutters in my stomach like when you first get involved in a new situation, when everything seems perfect. No skepticism, no this girl is crazy or getting on my nerves, just pure anticipation of what's next. She caressed my face and looked at me with innocence in her eyes, which I then noticed had Chinese characteristics. I grabbed her hand and we ran in the rain until we got to an apartment building. I told her that I would see her later and she went inside (I guess that is where she lived.) I stood outside for what seemed like an eternity gazing back at her as she walked backwards towards the elevator.

And then I woke up...

The Love Quadrilateral - Friday Night September 1st

I had a dream that I was in a love quadrilateral. The main characters were all women I know.

It was taking place at my grandmothers house. It was late night and I was making out with Girl 1. As we kissed, I got hard and she got wet, but we didnt have sex. I walked into the kitchen for a minute and Girl 1 wasnt there, but Girl 2 was sitting on the couch filing her nails with a nail file. We talked for awhile, we had a long ass conversation, but then she picked up her phone and started checking her messages. She had like 70 messages from LavaLife subscribers, the dating service. For some reason she put it on speaker so I could hear them. Dudes were sexually soliciting her and she was getting excited that so many men wanted her. I got mad and stormed off and went into what used to be my moms bedroom at my grandmothers house. Girl 1 was laying in the bed and we started making out again. Just when we were about to consumate the act, she was gone again. I walked out to the living room where Girl 2 was, and she was saying some lewd stuff into her phone to entice the dating service guys. I said to her, just so you know this shit is not cool with me. If you with me, then you with me. If not then just leave. I had the mean face on and i saw my grandma, she asked what was wrong and I told her what Girl 2 was doing and grandma said, "dont worry about her, there are plenty of other women out there that want you."

Intermission - I was driving down a deserted road. I think it was in the UK cuz I was in a convertible spider and I was on the wrong side of the road. There was grass on the sides, so it wasnt desert, but there was noone else there. I had on a suit with no tie. Suddenly a helicopter came up on me and there was a white guy in a suit with an umbrella and a white women in a black dress standing there. There was dramatic music in the background. I think they were from an old TV show called the Avengers, but I swear I have never watched that show before. Anyway, cant remember what happened in this part of the dream.

Back to the original dream, I woke up and had a talk with Girl 1. She said that she loved me, but she wasn't sure i was serious about her. I told her that she was right and she better fly back to where she came from. She gave me a hug and disappeared. My brother popped up, and he was eating from a take out box from an Italian restaurant. I dont know what it was, but it was yellowish like an omelette, and it had tomatoes sliced on top of it and smelled of garlic. There was also crab meat in it and scallops. It must be important because I focused on that plate a lot. Girl 2 was sitting in the living room and we had a heart to heart. She said that she really wanted me, but didnt feel that she had enough to keep me. I told her that was crazy, which made the situation worse cuz she started crying. I diverted my attention to Girl 3. She was sitting at my grandma's dining room table, and she was writing a business proposal. I walked up and kissed her on the back of the neck. She turned around and said hey. I asked what she was doing, and she told me that she was working on a real estate thing, she used some big words that were foreign to me, not knowing much about property. She exuded confidence, and I was in awe of her determination. She pulled out some markers and started to draw the logo of a store here. I dont know if its nation wide, but its called Scotty's. She asked how they spell Scotties and what color the logo was. I said S-C-O-T-T-I-E-S. And the logo is orange and green and white. Like the flag of Scotland (I have no idea if this is right or not, but thats what I said in the dream) She had written out S-C_O_T_T_Y_'s and was half way through coloring it in with an orange marker. She asked if I was sure and I told her yes. She said, I dont think you are right and said she would keep it the way it was. I went in to the family room and got the newspaper from where my grandmother always puts them, and started looking through the coupons. After rummaging for awhile, I found a sales paper and saw that I was right and I ran to show Girl 3. Girl 3 blew me off and said that her investors wouldnt know the difference so she was keeping it. We kissed and I left her to continue her work.

I went back to Girl 2, she was sitting on the couch talking about how I had too many women for her to be happy with me. I told her that we never made it exclusive so I could do what I want. She pulled out a notebook and started writing. All of a sudden her parents were there, and they were consoling her. Girl 2 got angry and started to charge at me, but her father (whom I have never met) held her back. She flipped over my grandmothers coffee table and broke the candy dish that always has mints and cinnamon hard candies. I picked up a piece of candy and sat on the floor by the dining room table. My little nephew came through and he was walking. He's only 8 months old. I played with him and watched him walk amazed that just yesterday he was crawling and now he was damn near running. My brother came through again and he was still eating from that styrofoam container. My dream focused on the meal again. We talked for a minute and I told him I was done with Girl 1 and that Girl 2 was acting like a damn fool and I should have known better than to bring her to my grandma's house. He didnt say anything but nodded his head like, yeah nigga you stupid. My nephew ran by and I chased him to the garage of my grandma's house. There, Girl 3 was holding a meeting with her investors. She had on a grey business suit and glasses and had her hair slicked back so she looked like a professional business women. I sat there in awe of her as she held her audience captive.

I went back to the living room and Girl 2 was still cussing me out. I announced that I was done with her and then her voice went silent although I could still see her gesticulating and yelling at me. Girl 1 walked out the front door with a big suitcase and said, goodbye, sucker. I waved goodbye and said take Girl 2 with you. She did.

And then I woke up...